KRISTIN TAYLOR

" Where do I even begin? Words simply do not seem to do justice to the gratitude that Marshall and I feel...I wish a simple "thank you" could express what I feel but it doesn't even come close.

From day one the care I received from you and Tanya has been more than I ever could have asked for. The faith and confidence you both placed in me has been such a blessing. I knew that the care I would receive under a homebirth midwife would be far different than what I received with hospital based CNMs. However, you have surpassed all of my expectations. Throughout the entire 9 months we have worked together, there was always an underlying trust in my knowledge and in my abilities. I was treated as an equal and with respect and although those are things I should expect from my care, they are things often lacking in the medical world.

...It's been amazing in talking over everything with Marshall. We fully expected that no matter how amazing, well trained and well- skilled you and Tanya are, there would be some element of care, a quirk in your personality...anything that would have bugged us. But honestly, we cannot find a single fault in the care you provided. There is not a thing that I would change from my birth experience. Truly, we are impressed!

I don't know where to begin in expressing my appreciation for the birth experience that I had. Of course birth is going to be life changing. Even a traumatic birth like Jensen's [1st birth via c- section] was amazing in it's own right. What Marshall and I experienced [with Elijah's birth] was the most profound and life- altering event of our lives. It was empowering and life-affirming but most importantly it was so healing. Throughout pregnancy and even before we conceived I committed myself to wanting a natural birth. I read all of the books and did all of the research. I took steps to overcome the trauma and grief from Jenson's birth. But all of the reading and thinking in the world could not prepare me for the experience of going through childbirth again. Although I had convinced myself that I was able to do this, there was always underlying doubt. So many people have so little faith in a mom's ability to VBAC that it becomes an underlying doubt. No matter how much I surrounding myself with people who believed in me, there was always that fear that because of my previous c-section I would never be good enough to birth vaginal. I did my best throughout pregnancy and labor to allow those fears to be overshadowed by the overwhelming confidence I had in myself and that both you and Tanya had in me.

...I am wholly convinced that I never could have achieved my birth in a hospital setting. For one, the immediate restrictions, rules, machines, and needles would have had me under so much stress. I could never have let go of all of those emotions. But that last hour of birth could never have occurred anywhere but in the comfort of my own home. I was unhindered and most of all uninhibited. I was comfortable to be completely naked. I was free to move as I needed. I didn't have to deal with being self-conscious about how much noise I was making or what other people were seeing. I was free.

I give you so much credit for providing such an amazing atmosphere to allow me to birth in. I was so well supported and cared for, but it was done so unobtrusively. Throughout the whole second stage of labor I was aware of the support from both of you and Marshall energetically, but emotionally and cognitively I didn't even know you were there. As I recall the process I can barely picture where you were or what you were doing. But the whole time I felt so strongly embraced by your support and your confidence. The room seemed to breathe a message of reassurance and faith.

I had hoped throughout my pregnancy that this would be an experience of healing and rebirth for me. I had envisioned a natural birth healing many of the self-doubts I had gained from Jensen's birth. I never in my wildest dreams imagined reaping what I got. It was something that both Marshall and I needed to experience. We both feel such completeness in our life having experienced such an amazing miracle. I know in my heart that it never would have been possible without the loving care and support I received. Trust me, I give myself credit for the work that I did and my abilities in all of this. But it would be a lie and injustice not to give credit where credit is due. There are some people who were put on this Earth to do God's work. If ever two such people existed, it is you and Tanya. There are people with a special gift and an amazing ability to love and support...you are both two very blessed people.

...I couldn't have asked for more from you and Tanya, you will always hold a special place in my heart, in Marshall's and Elijah's.

All my love, Kristin